Snack attack
Space travel makes me peckish
Robot and Francis follow a strange signal to a desert planet and make a surprising (and tasty) discovery that puts their lives in danger. Again.
Plus, a little backstory for Robot. Isn’t that nice? Maybe next I can give him an actual name. Or explain why so much of their adventures seem to revolve around food. The universe is a strange place.
Read the comic script
In Space
a desert planet floats lazily in the dark, a single moon orbits close by.
Caption
A planet very, very (very) far away
Robot (v.o)
Well Francis, this is something you don’t see every day…
On the Planet surface
a poutine truck sits alone in the desert landscape. The EGG (their ship) sits parked in the distance. Robot has climbed inside the food truck to investigate, while Francis, more cautiously, takes readings outside with her handheld device.
Robot
A poutine truck on a desert planet!
Francis
It’s definitely emitting the signal we followed.
A poutine menu
on the side of the truck lists various poutine delicacies and their prices: My music at work 9.00, Little bones 11.00, Fire in the hole 13.00, The luxury 15.00.
Robot
makes an order of poutine in the truck. He’s very messy.
Robot
How do you think it got here? Black hole? Time tunnel? Mapquest?
Francis
scowls at her device readings.
Francis
It’s a trap, obviously.
Robot (v.o.)
Less fun, but yeah – obviously.
Device
Look up!
Francis
is suddenly in complete darkness.
Francis
Is it getting dark already?
The cuboid
is an enormous black box of a ship. It’s big, and slow, but mostly really, really, big. It hovers dangerously in the air above the food truck, which looks like a toy in comparison.
Francis
Eep!
Francis
recognizes the danger immediately.
Francis
Oh no! It’s the Cuboid Drone Factory!!
Robot
spills the order of poutine all over his chest.
Robot
Cuboid?! How did it find me?!
Robot
hangs out the truck service window, staring up at the cuboid. There’s something we can’t quite see moving behind him.
Robot
Cuboid glitched hard when I became sentient and escaped! Now it’s only program is revenge!!
The Cuboid
continues to hang menacingly over our heroes. I think that’s all it can do, really.
Cuboid
Drone 3088! You will be reformatted and return for work assignment! Your individuality must be removed! Also you suck!
Francis
yells at Robot from outside the truck.
Francis
Robot! It’s not a poutine truck – it’s a reformatting pod! Get out! Get out now!
Robot
Eep!
Inside the truck
what looks sort of like a hyper-advanced usb cable stands upright like a venomous snake about to strike Robot.
Reformatting cable
Stand still! Reformat will begin shortly…
Robot
Ack!
The reformatting cable
strikes robot in the chest! Gravy, fries and cheese curd fly everywhere!
Reformatting cable
Locating data port…
Through the service window
Francis can see the horror that’s happening to her friend, and she’s powerless to stop it.
Francis
Robot!
Robot
is also powerless as the reformatting cable tries to locate his data port.
Robot
So long cruel world!
Reformatting cable (v.o)
Locating data port…
Robot
?
Reformatting cable (v.o)
Locating data port?
But the reformatting cable can’t find his data port! Robot grabs the useless cable and holds it safely away from his chest. It drips with poutine gravy and sadness.
Robot
Uh…this thing isn’t working.
Reformatting cable
Do you even have a data port?!
The Cuboid
is still hanging out in the sky.
Cuboid
What?! Why are you still and individual?!
Then Robot and Francis
run for their lives!
Francis
You have cheese curd in your data port!
Robot
Poutine saved my life!
The EGG
blasts off from the desert surface, careening through the alien sky leaving only a strange smoke trail, and a very frustrated Cuboid, behind.
Cuboid
Aaarrggg!!
On the EGG bridge
and with a safe distance between them and the evil Cuboid, Robot and Francis can finally relax and enjoy some fresh poutine.
Robot
Cuboid might be a glitchy positron psychopath, but it makes great poutine.
Francis
It was a bad plan, but a tasty plan.
Back on the desert planet
the Cuboid is too slow to follow them.
Cuboid
You’re a drone!! Come back! You’re not allowed to escape! Arg!!
In Space
a desert planet floats lazily, a single moon orbits close by.
Cuboid (v.o)
Ugh…everything smells like fries…
Caption
The end!