Life
Blog posts about life, art, and everything.

Lawn care less
May 14, 2015 | BlogLawn mower has a new battery, oil change, new spark plugs, new air filter, sharpened blades, and inflated tires. Bought a new grass trimmer today, too. So now I can cut the lawn, you know, ugh, whenever. I don’t know. Sometime?

Jazzy Iron Maiden
April 27, 2015 | BlogSometimes I like to whistle jazzy versions of Iron Maiden songs because I blew out 3 tons of crusty mucus through my nose at 4:30 this morning and that’s the sort of thing you do when your brain is remote viewing Mars on a work day.

Hero to mail carriers everywhere, no doubt
April 15, 2015 | BlogIn the five years we’ve been here Canada Post has never inspected our mail box, because if they had, we would’ve got this notice that the mailbox post is too tall long before now.

New sump pump day!
April 9, 2015 | BlogIt’s new sump pump day! Celebrate by sleeping through the night without hearing clickclickclickclickclick or brrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssshhhhhhhppppttttttttt or brrrrsht THUNK THUNK coming from your (not nearly old enough) pos sump pump every 30 seconds all night long. May all your basements be dry. HAPPY NEW SUMP PUMP DAY!

Who brought the dog?
March 23, 2015 | BlogThe girls have been watching Ghostbusters in 1/2 hour chunks before bedtime for the past few nights, and now the 3 year old is periodically repeating the line “Okay, who brought the dog?” and I’m pretty sure that’s the best thing ever.

Parenting on snow days
February 2, 2015 | BlogAn attractive young couple asked me what kids are like on snow days.

Douglas Adams on perspective
December 24, 2014 | BlogThe fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. Douglas Adams

Kurt Vonnegut on profanity
December 11, 2014 | Blog…profanity and obscenity entitle people who don’t want unpleasant information to close their eyes and ears to you. Kurt Vonnegut, Hocus Pocus That and “know your audience” were the two morsels of fatherly wisdom I served up last night. BOOM MOTHERFUCKERS.

General rule
November 19, 2014 | BlogI have this general rule that the thing a company became famous for is the only thing you should buy from them. Nowhere is this more true than kids products. For example, Disney makes good movies, but lousy bed sheets, ugly lamps, and questionable toys. I haven’t read a single book from a toy maker […]

The world is a lie
November 12, 2014 | BlogApparently Curious George isn’t a monkey at all, but a chimp. And Hello Kitty isn’t a cat. I need to lie down.