The cookroom is on fire

October 19, 2010 | Blog

Forthwith the “kitchen” will no longer be referred to as such, but instead as the “cookroom”, which is more consistent with the nomenclature of the other rooms of the house, such as “bathroom”, “bedroom”, and “living room”. You’re welcome.

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Storysome

October 4, 2010 | Blog

“Storysome” ought to be a real word. An adjective meaning to cause an anecdote. For example, you might reflect “Those are some storysome stab wounds,” and then continue on with an adventurous yarn about the day the frogs organized and took over the yard.

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Wide awake at 4:30 am

September 30, 2010 | Blog

The following things kept me awake at 4:30 am this morning: source control for the image database; image request 1; image request 2; Buffy’s betrayer in Season 8; the water softener back flush; the time; a touching love story between the last man on Earth and the zombie that steals his heart. Natch!

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Garden gnomes

September 29, 2010 | Blog

The garden gnomes tried to get into the house last night. Their hats blew away in the wind, and they got scared. Not enough oatmeal, likely. Their fingers left thin streaks in the grime on the basement windows where they tried to open them. The house flies think the streaks are freeways, up and down, up and down, up and down. Where do they think they are going? It’s 1943. Nothing’s open on Sunday. I need a hand vac.

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Aiden the cat

July 2, 2010 | Blog
Aiden the cat considers a nap
Aiden the cat

You beautiful psycho, you manic queen. There will never be another quite like you. Aiden the cat, 1997-2010. Good luck out there buddy.

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Murder in the Green Forest

June 16, 2010 | Blog

Murder in the Green Forest: Reddy Fox is found dead, and everyone’s a suspect. Seriously, somebody needs to write this.

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Dorothy Parker on fame

May 14, 2010 | Blog

I’m never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don’t do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don’t even do that any more.

Dorothy Parker
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Bobby Funke on being misunderstood

March 20, 2010 | Blog

Nobody’s misunderstood. That’s just what people say when they don’t like who they are.

Bobby Funke, Assassination of a High School President
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Albert Munsell in living colour

March 12, 2010 | Blog

In the early 20th century, Albert Munsell invented a system for naming colours numerically by hue, value and chroma. A hundred years later, the Munsell color system remains internationally accepted, yet the only image that exists of it’s creator is a lousy black and white photo.

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Dream a little dream

January 5, 2010 | Blog

I don’t dream often, so last night was a surprise. A ragtag band of heros bring down a corupt corporation. They stack the executives like fire wood in the center of a round room with floor to ceiling windows. A crowd gathers inside and out to witness. The leader stands forward. “Do not work for them. Do not hire them. Take a look at these men. They can not be trusted.” And then we all arranged car pools and went home. 🙂

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