Team rewards

October 27, 2011 | Blog

A “team building dinner” as a reward for hard work is like being given Benedryl as a reward for taking Buckley’s.

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Signs of future past

September 20, 2011 | Blog

A sign in Kingston General Hospital reads “Future Appointment Scheduling”. I’m not going to schedule an appointment in the past, and given the context the only thing I would schedule there is an appointment. So the entire sign could have been simplified to just Scheduling, and it would have saved all of you having to read this stupid post. Send invoices for lost wages to KGH.

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George Bernard Shaw on progress

September 9, 2011 | Blog

Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.

George Bernard Shaw
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Memo from management

May 22, 2011 | Blog

First off, a big round of applause for a really top shelf apocalypse! Best turnout since ’75! Secondly, there was a slight hiccup with the backup of this Universe so we had to restore to 6pm from a neighbouring Universe instead. You might notice a few small differences, like green foliage, and a more reasonable number of appendages. Anyway, good job everybody! See you in 2012!

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I think we understand each other

March 7, 2011 | Blog

I tried explaining to my 19 month old daughter that she can’t have a stomach bug weekdays between the hours of 7 am and 9 pm, because the electricity required to continuously run the washer and dryer during mid and peak hours is cost prohibitive. She nodded. Then threw up on my sweater.

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Holding Santa accountable

December 23, 2010 | Blog

So we’re down to the wire, and Santa has yet to be vocal on the good vs bad judgement process, his security, collection and storage policies regarding this data, and our legal recourse on disagreement with his judgement. The days of opaque leadership are over, Mr. Santa. WE WANT TRANSPARENCY.

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Thomas Nast and the origins of Santa

December 15, 2010 | Blog

In 1862, caricaturist Thomas Nast was hired to create the cover of Harper’s Weekly. For the first time in illustrated history, Christmas was depicted as a jolly plump bearded fellow, with clay pipe and a sack overflowing with toys. Nearly 70 years would pass before illustrator Haddon Sundblom started work on the iconic Coca Cola advertisements.

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John Singer Sargent motivates

December 1, 2010 | Blog

Along with whistling, cursing and growling, John Singer Sargent would talk to himself while painting. “This is impossible. You can’t do it. Why do you try these things? You know it’s hopeless. It can’t be done.” Followed by “Yes, it can, yes, it can, it can be done – my God, I’ve done it.”

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To whom it may concern

November 29, 2010 | Blog

You know, the email replies I write in my head are so much more satisfying then the ones I eventually send. Tact, it seems, is what keeps us all on topic.

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Sesame Street and parenting

October 29, 2010 | Blog

My take away from the use of guest stars on Sesame Street is that (like the guest stars) parents can be as morally elastic as we like when the kids aren’t watching, so long as we speak in gentle tones and put on pants when they are around.

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